Do you ever get the feeling that maybe you've grown up just a bit too fast and then you get really scared? That's how I feel right now, because, tomorrow, I'm leaving my home of 18 years... And honestly, that scares me.
It's like... You want to grow up, have a house, have a real life and care for yourself, but when it comes down to it, leaving your home, it's scary. You lay there and you start thinking about the fact that you won't be living where you are anymore, and no matter where you're gonna be next, you get this strike of panic. You aren't ready, despite the months of preparation and the hours you've spend packing, no one is ever ready to leave somewhere they feel comfortable.
I'm worried something will go wrong, I'm worried I won't feel safe... I don't want, at this moment, to go. Not anymore. But I don't get to make that decision, it's was already made by a past-me, months ago. But present-me isn't ready anymore.
But it's too late, I'm moving out tomorrow, moving into a house with 5 friends from College, and I'm going to start my -actual- life, beginning with University. And 9 months later, when the student accommodation ends, I have to leave again, and maybe live on my own. I've never been to this town, this school, only seen pictures. Yes, it's only an hour from home, but...
I'm still scared.
How do you even get through this...? I have just over 27 hours left. And I'm sitting here, writing this and crying out of sadness and fear. It feels like I'm going to be all alone, even though I won't be. I just don't understand.